About Me

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Hi, I'm Jac. I'm really bad at these things because I never know what to write about myself. Some main things are just... I'm loud I complain I like to argue I'm optimistic I talk a lot, but I listen just as well. I watch too many movies, probably cause I'm lazy. I'm sarcastic, so I apologize in advance

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I don't get you.

Have the time we talk.. I.. I don't even know.
I get you. And I don't.
We talk every night, but I feel you don't want to..
I don't make you, but you're always there.
If you don't want to, please... don't come. You only make me want to talk to you more if you keep coming back.

I hate that we fight all the time now.
I hate that there's so much I want to do. But I can't.
I'm not allowed..
Because she's in your life.. not me.
It's not that I'm not happy. It's just... I want what we had.

I hate that you make me cry, and I never tell you.
Even though tonight.. I specifically said.. I tell you everything.
I never tell you when I'm crying.
You already said you feel like crap when you speak with me.. why make it worse.

Trying to keep yourself away from me.. for the better. I've heard that
You don't think I care about you. I've heard that.. way too much.
You remind me of him and I know you know who i mean.
Those are things he said to me before he left.

And I'm scared you're going to leave me. Maybe not in the same way, but you'll be gone. Because our relationship is just getting shittier and shittier with every conversation and I can't stand it !

I want us to be like us again..

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

So there's this guy..

So, I have this thing with this guy..
It's actually just a "thing" but we both know it could definitely develop into more.

Here's the deal. I talk to this guy every night. And I love it. Usually it's only 2-3 hours. But I don't care. The catch. He doesn't live near me.
I'd probably give anything to live near him.

At first I thought it was one of those "flings". Where you're high on the feeling for a few weeks, or months then it's over. It's true I've only known him for a few months, but it isn't a fling.
I'm at the point where
• Anything he says can make me smile
• I feel comfortable with telling him anything
• Anything and everything reminds me of him
• When I watch "romantic" movies, I want that with him.

I'm usually never a girly girl when it comes to these things. So it feels so weird. It almost feels like I'm doing something wrong. Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating him too. I tend to tell him how I'm feeling and whats going on, in life or anything. He'll do the same for me.

He always does these, like seriously the simplest things that makes me smile like such a moron. It's like.. 90% of the time just him saying something, and I see as the most adorable thing ever.
I'm such a creep to be thinking about him a lot. An even weirder creep to admit that yes, I have dreamt about him. But I feel on top of the world for those 2 hours that we talk. Like nothing can bring me down of this high hill. But I don't want it to end either.

When I talk to him..
• I'm never mad
• I feel so high
• I have butterflies
• I want him to hold me and not let go
• I want to hear him talk forever
• I never want him to leave
• I want time to stand still
• I'm nervous, I shiver

I love him ♥

Monday, February 1, 2010

Christmas - 16/12/09

So. Christmas is one of my favorite holiday. Minus Halloween.
I really enjoy Christmas, just the holiday itself. I love the thought of Christmas.
During Christmas, my family all gets together. We have a huge boxing day pot luck, every year since I can remember. Each year it's been at my house. Now, each family has some sort of problem. It's obvious, no family is perfect. And no matter what my family gets together.
This year it's going to be a little different because my Grandpere died. So we're going to have an empty rocking chair as we watch stupid cartoon movies.

Another reason I love Christmas is the cheer. Serious. The songs just actually make me want to sing and dance. No joke. This weekend I'm actually dressing as an elf with a few friends and we're going out to sing and pass out candy canes to people we meet.

We're also collecting money for IWK. Which reminded me of a story I read in the paper at work. This girl, her name is Samantha and she lives in my province. She has a bone cancer. Her christmas wish is to go home for christmas. Though she can't do that, because she's dying. Her step dad is bringing her brothers and her things up to her hospital room, so she can have her Christmas.

This, I think, is the real meaning of Christmas. Those things.
Family. Friends. Joy.
Not santa, and christmas specials. Not getting gifts and shopping.
Or even those nasty boxing day sales.

Now I'm not that religious, but when I was growing up. Christmas was about Jesus. Not Santa.
Christmas is just an excuse for people to buy things now. Or an excuse for kids to get greedy.
Corporations use the day to say. "If you love your partner, by them this expensive item"
And dear LORD boxing day sales? It's the Canadian Black Friday! It's sickening... It's awful.

I told my mother I didn't want anything for Christmas this year. I just wanted to be home.
If I could ask for anything, for myself, I'd want to talk to a certain someone.
If I could ask for anything for everyone else... Instead of wasting your money on shit you don't need. Use your money for people who need it.

Each school has a food bank around Christmas. Use the money for extra cans to give to them. My High School has the Christmas Joy Project. Donate money for the students. There's also a shoebox Christmas program. My mom and I used to sponsor 2 kids. All we did was get simple things like hair brush, hair pins, toothbrush, mittens and hats? We put them in the shoe boxes and some kid gets a good Christmas

But no. This generation of people.. we're just all selfish bastards

Graduation- 28/11/09

I've been feeling really down lately, just things happening, and school, and friends. I needed something to make me feel better. So my friend, Kelsey, brought up Graduation.. obviously that didn't help. But we get to write grad write ups for the yearbook, so to give me an idea of what to write.. she took out her yearbook from last year and read to me what I had wrote.. and I feel like sharing.

I'm going to eventually take up this whole page. It make take a while,...but i'll do it..hmm..red elephant and the shark swam, i punched him and palmed him in the face, he burned and melted in the firey water (this is what i was thinking in becca's room) tonights tasks..hah..oh i think we need that app. (productivity) i am GOING to use this whole page. can we go get some cotton cand-LISTEN TO IT
Oh boy.. haha movies every long weekend
CANDY MAN FINALLY got it..i didn't pay attention -.-
I JUTS SPIT oh, i drooled.
Texting in math,chem,physics
CAN WE GO FOR A WALK GHETTO JUICE, thug juice, want a straw ? are you chewing it ?!
if you wanna be my lova love..lova..lova..love.................LOVAH.!
Mow the lawn, go grocery shopping, row the boat, wash the dishes. do the q-tip. throw it away......
I HAVE to stop now, you're making me help you !! GRAWR
Im using msn emotions and they don't work. FIX YOUR EAR
RWWWR! Do you know what that sound was . annoying ? no a puma !!!
UUUUUNGH ! thats how you spell the sound.
CESAR SALAD CHICKEN WRAP...or how weird you like to say it.
rah rah rah rah! that's what i used to fix my mistake
"Colorado sunshine"...sun rise..... that what i said....oh....oh...nooo!
Bonjour, i can speak french
when i go away, im going to learn how to speak ghetto..in french and go to class..in french..and learn...in french...
Parmesean..Pellow..those are aspelt how you say ..them..
home skillet...buiscut........MUDPIE...
TRACHEOTOMY...hence .. trachea(spelled right)
OUR LIVES CONSISTS OF :: house, salad, bumper stickers, horror films, Ceasar salad wraps, SYTYCD, 3OH!3, ghetto juice walks and camera time.
IMDB it.
the world will come to an end when these people die.
Hugh laurie, tobin bell, and thats all i go right now. OH MY GOD MIA MICHAELS. ! Tyce. shane....uh..kay.. TRAVIS WALL...i like him ^-^
ITS POURING OUT ! ............ STILL !

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Nothing Fights- 10/05/09

Best thing happened to me today. I was sitting in Math class. And my best friend Kelsey sits right beside me. For some odd reason we started talking about allergies. I'm allergic to quite a few things. Gluten, Lactose, not to mention dust, animal dander, and most likely pollen. So my friend, Kels, starting going on about how I could die. Because of air.
We had an hour argument on if it was possible to be allergic to the air. Here's our argument.. not word for word, but literally this is how it went

K- It's possible to be allergic to air. Like.. if we lived in a bubble, and we put ketchup in the air.. cause we're allergic to ketchup, we'd die.

J- Uhm.. no.. cause oxygen is a gas, and ketchup is a solid particle.. there for the ketchup would not mix with the air

K- Dude! Yes.. like.. if we took the particles.. and like... mixed it into the air.. like cause we're in the future and we're robots!

J- Robots don't need air to live..

K- But the ketchup in the air! We'd die. Just like if I took your cat, and chopped her up into piece and put her in the ai-

J- Okay one.. thats mean.. Two.. you're throw her up.. and she'd fall to the ground and there'd be blood everywhere.. too much for me to be allergic to her dander..

K- No but.. we're in the future and we're robots we can do this.. Little particles, that we can hardly see.

J- Kelsey.. No..cause they don't need air! And anyways.. it's the particles we'd be allergic to. Not the air!



...it went on like that for an hour.. then we asked Mrs White, our math teacher..

Let's just say.. I won this battle :)

Hah Hah, that's so funny. -9/27/09

We all have a sense of humor. Some of us have a quick sense of humor. Some dry, so sarcastic, some hilarious, some stupid.. all racist.

Yes.. all of us are racist

But.. that's not where I was going.
Where I'm going is that.. I found out.. my sense of humor is much more simpler than some peoples.
I'm going to put a series of things on here of things that I laugh at.. every time I see it.
when I say every time I mean really.. every time

Randoms http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmx1JM4ecAE

Family Guy- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk8RezcoXBc

Friends- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C1rfr495sY

Boy Meets World- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXFLpND4Q_g


That 70's Show;;Scene 1:58 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXgr34uF-Ts

Without a Paddle: Jerry : Well I was a boyscout. Tom, you were a boyscout, weren't you?
Tom: No, but I ate a brownie once.

Carlos Mencia- Hey! He comes back, I swear to god he comes back! This movie has a happy ending He dies's on friday but then comes back on sunday and that's why we hide the eggs! By the way what do eggs have to do with Jesus Christ? I understand Christmas. 3 wise men show up with a gift 'I love you', symbolism, 'I love you, here's a gift' symbolism. I get that. How did the egg thing happen? Did somebody walk up to somebody else and say 'Hey did you hear? Jesus rose from the dead" '*GASP!* HIDE THE EGGS!.. HIDE THE EEEEGGS! We gotta trick Jesus, paint the eggs. Paint them purple, put them in the park! Trick Jesus! Tell everybody to spread the word. From now on.. eggs come from rabbits' ...'why?' 'So he doesn't take the chickens too!'

...I have an awful sense of humor.. I laugh at the most stupid things.

Don't be such a slut, virgin. 9/27/09

Know what pisses me off. People who slut themselves out...

I know this one girl. She's nice and all. But she's a total slut. Here's the key part. She's a virgin. She's slutting herself out, trying to lose it. I mean. come on!
She's become a total bitch too. Thinking she's all that in her uniform. Thinking all the guys want in that skirt. Here's a news flash hunny.

You're a slut. No one wants a slut. No one likes a slut

The other thing is that she totally denies it. And everyone tells her she is. But.. she says she's not. Then after a bit everyone gets all mad at her, she has a break down. Here's her famous line
I'll change

fuck you whore, you've never changed.

So. I just wanna say. I hate sluts. I hate girls who think all guys love them. When the truth is.. they really don't. I hate girls who are not the prettiest or skinniest and wear things that they should. Honestly.. for myself.. I know I'm not skinny.. I'm average, if not.. a little over. I don't wear bikini's, short shorts or mini skirt. I know I'm not overly pretty like some people are, so I don't act like I am.

I know when I'm a slut. I know when I'm a whore. I know that you lie so much, I want to kick your ass out the door.

That's my poem for you. I hope you enjoy it ... skank ;)

Liars Never Tell The Truth. 9/25/09

My first little ranting note was about internet liars, this is pretty much the same thing. Except, today I was reading a few ooc notes on facebook (because.. I roleplay..), you know, just being nosy like some people are. We all are nosy.. so shush.


This persons note went on about pretty much their life. And that's cool, if you want a stalker. They actually put about their life.. I mean like.. about their parents, and drugs and alcohol and all that shit.

Why would you share that online

You don't. Unless you're looking for attention. Unless you're lying to get people to feel bad for you. Unless you want people to like you. Why.. Why do you do that?!
Are you retarded!

I mean SERIOUSLY! If I had problems with my family.. I don't want people knowing. I wouldn't go around bragging it to people

So listen people. If you're doing an out of character note. Just make it simple. You know things like favorite movies, music, and shows. Maybe where you live (not town and all). Maybe your siblings. But seriously. Don't put shit about your life. Don't put your a recovering drug addict. Don't put you went to jail. Don't put that you were raped. Don't put that your parents killed themselves... It's just stupid to brag about that.

Could doing nothing, be more help than doing something? 9/23/09

Today in class, my teacher started talking about Global Warming

Greaaat... seriously, I think I heard enough

Is it really such a problem. I mean it's not going to affect us really. I mean, we're gonna die before it becomes such a horrible problem for us. Right?


Did you know.. there are actually places with such horrible air quality which is connected with the causes of Global warming? Did you know, there are places that have to outdoor activities and even school because it's healthier to stay inside and do nothing. Excuse my word choice but that is insane, that's retarded.

Because of driving so much, the air is being polluted (Like we don't know that part) .. so bad that it's harmful for little kids to go and learn.

If we actually didn't drive as much as we did, anyone.. anywhere.. It would show a great deal in difference. Now I don't mean, stop driving all together, but if you are in walking distance.. why not just walk. It wont kill you. And if you're not.. car pool.

I'm not normally one to complain about how the ozone is failing, and how we keep killing our planet. I'm not one to nag, but it's simple things that can do a great deal.

Baby steps my friend... are better than no steps at all

Realization- 9/21/09

Today in class, my teacher started a lecture on relationships. He started going on about poverty and abusive relationships. Now, it wasn't just necessarily beating, like physical, but emotional and mental abuse too.

He really got me thinking.

He continued on, saying how women will leave an abusive relationship, only to find themselves in a new one. They can't help it. Those are the men they attract.

Whoa. Stop!

Men they attract. Got me thinking again.. what kind of men do I attract. I thought about it. So hard, so long. I realized these so-called men I attract aren't even worthy of calling men.
All the "men" I have met recently are assholes. They want ass, not a person.
These "men" are liars, cheaters, scammers.
These are "men" I haven't met face to face

Then I realized

These were guys I met from roleplaying!
Are all guys on the internet just on for fucking with people?
A guy I was closest with on here, he ended up lying to me about everything. He lied to me about his whole life. The next thing I knew.. he was dead
Or so I was told.

Is everyone on the internet a liar?

Friday, January 22, 2010

January 22nd 2010

Bad end to semester one.
Do you ever just wake up and know it's going to be just an awful day?
First class, English. My favorite class. Although, it was my last english class of high school.
Homeroom, Math.
I got my mark back, for my math exam. I'm not sharing what I got -.-
Anyways. I feel like my teacher is out to get me. I will not go into detail, cause I wont stop.
Third. How about some french.
French Exam, part 2. Grammar. You try doing french grammar... so many fucking rules
Then Global.
I hate global no doubt, but today, again, my last class. We watched Troy.. I never wanted to leave. Haha
Last, english again
We started to watch The Odyssey. I ended up getting an important text, though I couldn't answer it having the teacher hanging over my shoulder...

What a lovely day -.-